I love business analysts (who wouldn't?)

I was having a bitch session with a developer friend of mine on Messenger, and the subject of BAs (business analysts) came up...

(btw, I love the picture to the left. Notice how it looks important and informative but is actual quite mysterious and utterly useless. My bet is that it was made by an actual BA)

reptar says:
erg - BAs - people too retarded to be IT managers
Emlyn says:
"erg - BAs - people too retarded to be IT managers" - lol, I love it, truest thing I've heard all day.
reptar says:
oh seriously - how often have you met one with an analytical mind that can communicate effectively?
Emlyn says:
BAs have no skills. Zero. I've never met one who had a clue about anything useful.
Emlyn says:
Surely there are actual useful analysis skills and stuff that BAs *could* have, but for some reason they never do.
Emlyn says:
Ability to understand basic logic would be good. "And", "Or", "Not". It'd be a start.
reptar says:
no - they generally go about writing incomprehensible shit - and then blame everyone around them when the things fails
Emlyn says:
Or any concept of systemic thinking. The idea that features can be interconnected, for one thing, that seems to entirely elude BAs.
reptar says:
yes. what you actually need is a good developer who isn't a nerd and is sick of coding (and therefore isn't a nerd)
Emlyn says:
Yes, you need people who've had to actually develop serious software, and understand the consequences of the things they ask for.
Emlyn says:
Hard to find though. The absolutely worst BAs I've had to work with have been those with some programming background; they really think they know better than you, and that you can't question them.
reptar says:
yes - agree with that sentiment too
reptar says:
"I'VE DONE HTML CODING BEFORE, THEREFORE I CAN TELL YOU YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT US NOT BEING ABLE TO STREAM LIVE VIDEO CONTENT VIA THE MOON'S MAGNETIC FIELDS"
Emlyn says:
Whereas, I noticed eventually that the BAs with a coding background actually come from the ongoing flood of people who leave coding because they were never suited to it and were always completely shit at it, because they have completely the wrong mind for it.
reptar says:
yes - I've noticed that too
reptar says:
yet somehow, it's the universities that should be weeding them out
Emlyn says:
Then they become BAs who think they are Overlord of all they survey, and think they can get something built by demanding mutually incompatible streams of features with no regard for overall design. They still have absolutely no aptitude for working with complex systems, but they are now less accountable and can do more damage.
reptar says:
hahahahahaha